Not Amused
by agent iz hyper
Summary: Various situations with the Rangers - mostly Will and Gilan getting on Halt's nerves. Needless to say, he's not that amused. -first RA fic- Cheers
1. Greybeard Halt

**Greybeard Halt**

_My first Ranger's Apprentice fic. :D Halt's reaction when Will first sang Greybeard Halt on his lute… sorry, mandola. :P Enjoy~_

-x-

Halt sighed to himself as the sound of Will's wretched mandola reached his ears once again from inside the cabin. How was he supposed to concentrate on his reports with his apprentice strumming away all night? He wondered again, for the hundredth time, why exactly he let Will get one in the first place.

"Halt? Can you come here for a bit?" Will called to him now, stopping the music for a moment.

Halt raised his eyes to the heavens. _What now?_ He got up and headed inside, adopting an uninterested, eyebrow-raised look as he faced his grinning apprentice.

Will grinned at him brightly. "I made a new song. Listen!" And before Halt could object, he started strumming on his mandola.

Halt closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, his expression painstakingly long-suffering. _Don't break it…_

Then Will started singing to a slightly familiar tune… only the words were different.

"_Greybeard Halt is a fighting man_

_I've heard common talk_

_That Greybeard Halt, he cuts his hair_

_With a carving knife and fork!__"_

Halt's eyes snapped open and he stared at the youth in front of him with an expression that said he was two seconds from exploding. Will, of course, didn't notice the warning, and he continued his song cheerfully.

"_Fare thee well, Greybeard Halt_

_Fare thee well, I say_

_Fare thee__… well…_" Will faltered now as he looked at his silently fuming mentor. His grin vanished to be replaced with a wide-eyed terrified look. "Um… Halt… what are you…?"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Halt grabbed his arm and tugged to the door, snatching the mandola off him on the way. He glowered at the boy dragging behind him and growled, "I'm going to _kill_ you."

Needless to say, Will wasn't so cheerful now. In fact, he was pretty terrified. "I was joking, Halt! Seriously!" His wide eyes trained on the saxe knife on the Ranger's belt. It glinted dangerously, almost mockingly, at him.

Halt let go of Will's arm and turned to face him, eyes blazing but face otherwise deceptively calm. "So was I," he said, and Will let go a breath in relief – too soon. "About killing you, I mean. _But_…"

"But?" Will gulped. He noticed his mentor eyeing a rather large tree and then nodding to himself, and wondered what he was thinking.

"You're spending the night outside. In that tree."

Will's eyes threatened to bulge out of their sockets. He blinked at Halt, then turned to gape at the tree, also noticing the fact that the sky was filled with heavy-looking clouds. "You can't be serious, Halt!" he protested, gesturing at the rain-promising clouds. "It's going to rain out!"

"Well, then, next time think of that _before_ you make a joke that _isn't_ funny," Halt told him, arms crossed in a way that said '_don't argue with me now unless you want your ears cut off_'.

Will's shoulders slumped in defeat and he turned to start climbing. "I thought apprentices weren't supposed to think…" he muttered. (Which, in itself, is a contradiction).

Halt ignored him (or he didn't hear him, but I wouldn't advise you to tell him that; knowing Halt, he'd take it as a personal insult on his age), and swiftly strode back to the cabin, still clutching the wretched _lute_ in his clenched fist.

Will stared after him as the door shut and settled back in the tree desolately, covering himself with his cloak and trying, in vain, to find a comfortable position in the branches.

It was going to be a _long_ night.

Inside, Halt resisted the urge to snap the mandola in two and throw it outside. He placed it in Will's room then headed off to his own bed, muttering something about cheeky apprentices and unamusing jokes. _He's learning off Gilan, I swear…_

-x-

_A/N: Now THAT is a lot better! :D And less lame and stuffs… *goes off to put up the third chapter*_

_Review, folks. You know you want to…_

_~izzy :3_


	2. Payback

**Compensation, AKA Payback**

-x-

Summary: Will wonders how many nights Gilan spent up in a tree when he was Halt's apprentice, then informs Gil of his own little experience – to much amusement.  
><span>Set:<span> sometimes before Sorcerer of the North at the Ranger's annual gathering.  
><span>Genres:<span> Humour, friendship.  
><span>Characters:<span>Will, Gilan, Halt.

-x-

Will looked around at the Ranger's Gathering Ground with a smile on his face. Even after about four years he was still amazed at how much he belonged in the Corps. It was amazing still and he was well aware of how lucky he was to have this opportunity to be a Ranger.

He knew now that Rangers were commonly well misunderstood - and for good reason. After all, it wouldn't really do for everyone in Araluen (and outside it) to know that majority of the Rangers were laid-back and hilarious. Nor that they were so addicted to coffee, Will though wryly, taking count of all the coffee pots and mugs he could see.

"Peaceful, isn't it?" a voice said from right beside him, startling the apprentice.

Will turned to face the grinning Gilan, scowling lightly. "A little warning next time would be nice, Gil."

Gilan raised an eyebrow in amusement. "And what's the point of being a Ranger if I go around telling you 'Hey Will, not to scare you or anything, but I'm sneaking up behind you right now'. Now where would be the fun in that?" he asked cheerfully.

Will considered it for a moment then nodded. "Fair point," he conceded, amused at the smirk Gilan now wore, as if to say 'Ha, I'm right and you know it'.

The two young men took a comfortable seat under the cover of a large tree, surveying their fellow Rangers in relative silence.

"So, young Will," Gilan said casually after a while, draping an arm over the youth's shoulders. "Anything interesting happen since I last saw you?"

Will thought about it. He hadn't talked to Gilan properly for the better part of a year - save for a couple of brief conversations when he stopped by their cabin on his way to some mission or other. He realized that he did actually have something he wanted to tell - and ask - Gilan; who had, after all, been Halt's apprentice before him.

"Yes actually," he replied slowly, then: "Gil, can I ask you something?"

The Ranger had to mentally stop himself from imitating Halt's smartass response to that. Instead, he nodded curiously.

Will looked around cautiously, making sure that Halt was well out of hearing range. This, of course, just piqued Gil's interest more.

"When you were Halt's apprentice," the younger boy started. "Did he... get mad at you a lot?"

Gilan laughed at the question. "'A lot' would be an understatement," he told Will with a crooked grin at the reminder. Will raised his eyebrows then continued.

"Well, did he ever... make you sleep outside?"

The Ranger blinked at him, then a knowing smile appeared on his face. He wondered what the seemingly innocent apprentice in front of him had done to the grizzled Ranger for that to happen.

"Up in a tree?" he prompted.

Will nodded several times, his face both solemn, and relieved that someone understood. "In the rain."

"With nothing for cover except your cloak." Gilan added.

Will stared at his friend, noting the amused glint in his eyes. "So he definitely _did_do that to you."

"I think I spent more time sleeping in trees than in the cabin those five years," Gilan joked - or at least, Will thought he was joking. His expression was pretty serious, though.

"What did you do all those times?" he asked him, eyes wide and intrigued.

Gilan waved a hand airily. "Oh you know, little things here and there. Filled his bed with mud once. Another time one of his Ranger cloaks was stripped to pieces so I could swing from trees. And once, he was particularly grumpy and I made a crack about his hair. And his coffee addiction - that was before I was addicted myself, of course," he added impishly. "Then it was 'goodbye sweet bed, hello old tree'. Good times."

Will burst out laughing. "You must have nerves of steel!" he exclaimed incredulously. To think that someone could do that to Halt... Then he added, as an afterthought, "Or you could just be, you know, plain stupid."

The Ranger raised an eyebrow again, his previous pleasure faded. "Oh? And may I ask what you so brilliantly did to earn such a lovely night outside?"

Will grinned sheepishly. "Introduced him to a new song on my mandola-"

"On your what?"

Will waved his hands in frustration - was it really so hard to remember what it was? "You know, my mandola - my lute!"

"Oh, that old thing." Light dawned on Gilan's face. Will glared at him but he ignored it, waving his hand. "Well? Go on."

Will was tempted to inform him - again - of the difference between a mandola and a lute. But then he noticed the cheeky twinkle in his eyes and narrowed his own. "You knew what I meant," he said accusingly.

"Did I?" Gilan let a smirk show now. The apprentice cocked an eyebrow but decided to just let it go, knowing that Gilan could go on with this type of joke for ages.

"Anyway, I introduced Halt to a new parody of Old Joe Smoke," he shrugged and his friend raised his own eyebrows.

"A parody, you say? What's it called?"

A faint grin played on Will's mouth. "Greybeard Halt. I made it up."

There was a beat of silence where Gilan just stared at the apprentice, who was starting to grow slightly apprehensive. Was it that bad?

But his doubts vanished as Gil laughed loudly, doubling over and attracting the attention of Rangers near them. Once they'd saw who it was, however, they turned back to whatever they were doing (in most cases, drinking coffee), used to the cheerful Ranger's ways.

"That, my friend, is an absolute classic!" he burst out eventually, clapping Will on the back.

Will grinned at him, more than a little amused and pleased at the reaction.

"We'll make a famous pranker out of you yet," he continued, his grin widening at the thought again of how his former mentor must have reacted to a song named 'Greybeard Halt'. "I can just imagine it: 'Will Treaty, legendary Ranger and originator of much-loved song 'Greybeard Halt'. Of course, we'll have to leave out the bit where he made you sleep up a tree," he added thoughtfully, frowning.

Will's eyebrows were slowly creeping up to his hairline as he stared at Gilan. He decided to leave his eccentric friend to his ways, and patted the Ranger on the arm. "You do that."

Suddenly Gilan smirked. "Why don't you play it for us tonight? I'm sure the Rangers would positively love it."

"No way!" Will refused, horror-struck at he idea - and most of all the punishment sure to follow. "I don't fancy spending a whole week's worth of nights up in some uncomfortable tree, Gil." Gilan looked disappointed - looks like Will didn't have his sense of amusement exactly (at Halt's expense, anyway).

"Good to know you've learnt your lesson, at least," a dry voice said from somewhere behind them, startling both Rangers. They turned guiltily to face an unamused Halt.

Well, Will was guilty. Gilan just smiled innocently at his old mentor, who turned his eyebrow-raised gaze onto him. "Which is more than I could say for you, Gil."

His ex-apprentice spread his hands in a 'what did you expect?' gesture. "Can't blame me, Halt. It's just so amusing when you're annoyed," he said cheerfully, an impish grin in place. Will snorted, then regretted it as his mentor's frightening glare turned towards him.

"Well? Are you planning on entertaining the Rangers tonight, Will?" he asked in a dangerous voice.

Will shook his head, smart enough not to annoy his teacher any further at the moment. "No Halt, I wasn't planning on it."

Gilan chuckled slightly. "You really should. I'm sure Crowley at least would enjoy it."

"Gilan do you want your ears cut off?" Halt growled, definitely _not_amused.

The youth shook his head innocently. "Not with your knife. I hear you shave your beard with it."

Will turned away so his mentor couldn't see his grin.

Halt on the other hand glowered at the beaming Ranger then turned his gaze skywards. "What convinced me to ever take on apprentices I'll never know."

"Aw don't be like that, Halt," Will piped in, smiling up at him winningly. "You love us, really."

Gilan jumped up and swung an arm over the older Ranger's shoulders. "Of course, I was your favorite, wasn't I?"

Will widened his eyes and scrambled up too. "No, no, I'm pretty sure I am."

Halt rolled his eyes at them, his arms crossed and face stoic. "I don't play favourites," he said flatly, sounding convincing enough. But the boys knew the truth.

"So does that mean you love us both the same?" Gilan asked in a thoroughly disappointed voice.

"No, it means you're both pestering apprentices to an equal amount and the day I'm free of the two of you is the day I get the freedom I deserve," was the dry correction.

Will grinned at him. "Is that a challenge for me to be more pestering than Gil was?"

The scowl he got was answer enough. Halt shook off Gilan's arm and made his way over to Crowley, muttering about useless apprentices. The two behind him looked at each other and shared a grin.

"You better tell me some of your best pranks if I want to succeed in being a more pestering apprentice, then," Will told Gilan, who laughed.

"You know, I almost feel sorry for Halt," he said cheerfully, not sounding sorry at all. After all, a Ranger's apprentice could never get back at their mentor enough times for all the torture (and well-hidden jokes) they put them through - including the housework. Look at it as compensation, in a way.

Not to mention the absolutely hilarious reactions.

-x-

_A/N: Finally got around to typing this. It's been in my notebook for a couple of days. :P Sort of a continuation from the previous fic, but not necessarily. I like this one much more. I think I'll go and improve the last one when I've got time. (RE: when exams are over. In two weeks)._

_And now I'll sleep._

_Review please, while you're at it. :D Constructive criticism is always appreciated.  
>~izzy :3<em>


	3. Awesome Rangers

**Awesome Rangers and Dire Situations**

-x-

Summary: Will reflects over all the near-death experiences he's had so far and asks Gilan about it.  
><span>Set:<span> Erak's Ransom, on the ship on the way back to Araluen.  
><span>Characters:<span> Same as always... Will, Gilan and Halt. Duh.

-x-

Staring out at the docile (for now) waves surrounding the wolfship with Gilan, Will had to think about all the times in his short time as a Ranger's apprentice where his life was as un-docile as it could get. He'd had so much adventure in the past five years, so much heart-stopping moments when he believed his life was over, that he wondered whether he would ever have a quiet year. Or whether, if that happened, he'd go mad from lack of action. Of course, being a Ranger pretty much guaranteed a life of adventure anyway, what with hunting down bandits and keeping the fief safe. But this youth had been through and seen much more than most Rangers anyway.

Will wondered if that was normal for Rangers, or if he was a special, trouble-attracting case.

"Will? Hey Will... Anyone home?"

He snapped out of his stupor to realize that Gilan had been talking to him. He faced his friend sheepishly.

"Yes Gil?"

Gilan's lips twisted into an amused smile. "Where did you go then, off with the faeries?"

"Just thinking," Will shrugged. Then he realized that - who better to ask than Gilan, who was a Ranger, after all? "Gilan?"

"Yeah?"

Will hesitated, eyes roving over the tranquil waters, and wondered how to word his query. He couldn't exactly ask outright "So how many near-death experiences have you had in the past decade or so?" then compare them to his own.

Gilan eyed the young Ranger as he hesitated, wondering what was on his mind this time. He remembered when they were going to Arrida that Will had been worried about not being a sufficient Ranger. But he sensed that this was something different altogether. He waited patiently; letting Will gather his thoughts first instead of pushing him for it.

Finally, the apprentice spoke up, still staring ahead. "Gil, you know how Rangers get into all sorts of trouble all the time? Is it... Is it normal for a Ranger, or an apprentice Ranger, to..." here, Will faltered slightly but then pushed on resolutely. "Is it, you know, a normal occurrence to come so close to being killed so many times in such a short timespan?"

Gilan cocked his head to the side slightly, thinking over the question. He knew where Will was coming from, knew how much he'd faced so far. He said lightly, "Well, taking into note the fact that we Rangers have a very special knack of getting into troublesome situations wherever we go, I'd say yes." He grinned at Will, who managed a smile back. Then he added somewhat thoughtfully, "Oh, and having Halt as your mentor would tend to raise the stakes of getting into a heapload of trouble and facing the punishment of death by arrow afterwards, of course."

Will snorted, shooting his friend an incredulous look. "Just how many times did Halt try to kill you, for you to say that?"

Gilan pretended to think about it. Eventually he shrugged. "I lose count." He fingered the railing under his hand then said, in the same light casual tone, "You didn't by any chance keep count, did you Halt?"

Will's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he turned to see his mentor standing behind them. Halt rolled his eyes at Gilan's back. "Unfortunately, no. I must have had better things to do with my time than plot ways to get rid of you," he answered in his ever-dry and sarcastic tone. His former apprentice turned and grinned at him.

"Better things to do than getting rid of me? I knew you secretly liked having me around!"

Halt raised an eyebrow in typical Halt fashion. "Don't delude yourself, Gil."

Will chuckled to himself, watching the two banter lightly. It was almost enough to rid his mind of his previous thoughts. Unfortunately for him, Halt took that moment to ask, "Why exactly were you telling my apprentice about me wanting to kill you anyway?"

Will's grin slipped off then. He wasn't sure why he didn't want Halt to know what he had thinking about, yet. He just didn't.

Luckily, Gilan sensed this and sent Halt a crooked grin. "Just talking about youthful things, Halt. You wouldn't really understand."

"Really?" Halt said flatly, not amused. To the side, Will smirked a bit, knowing what a sore subject Halt's age was for him.

"Yeah, weren't we, Will?" Gil said cheerfully, turning to the other boy.

Will, to his credit, didn't flinch when Halt's glaring gaze rested on him. He shrugged apologetically to his mentor and said with a grin, "Well it is sort of the truth..."

The older Ranger's gaze turned back on Gil, and the latter was a little surprised and more than a little apprehensive at the familiar humorous glint in Halt's eyes.

"What?" He asked, nonplussed.

Halt shrugged slightly. "Just thinking how biased your statement was. I'm pretty sure half the time you were my apprentice you almost killed yourself without my help."

Gilan raised an eyebrow questioningly. "No I didn't..."

An eyebrow rose. "Well, I definitely wasn't the one trying to see if I could juggle with throwing knives."

"You tried to what?" Will snorted.

Gilan looked affronted and glared at Halt. "Well I wasn't the one who told a poor unsuspecting fifteen year old that Rangers could do pretty much anything. You should be ashamed of yourself, Halt."

Halt rolled his eyes. "'Poor unsuspecting fifteen year old'? You can't be -" Halt stopped suddenly as at that moment the ship decided to lurch a bit more than it usually did. That definitely took the young men's teasing out of Halt's mind as he turned back hurriedly to grab something that wasn't moving. Gilan and Will, wisely, didn't say anything. Halt rolled his eyes at their obvious sudden disinterest and swiftly strode away, taking the chance to find a way to redeem his dignity.

"Well," Gil said after a moment. "That was interesting."

"Very," Will grinned with a slight shake of his head, turning back to face outwards.

He glanced curiously at the ever-cheerful Ranger beside him (who was saying something about having to watch his back seeing as Halt would probably go for some retribution for the teasing), his thoughts drifting. It was really difficult to try imagining Gilan in a tricky situation with no way out and no quirky smile on his lips. The aura of confidence seemed to follow the Ranger everywhere he went.

And yet, he hadn't missed the expression on the Ranger's face back in Arrida, when Gilan was certain they were going to be executed - when he had to watch, helpless, as his long-time mentor was so close to being killed. Will couldn't have been gladder that he had gotten there when he did.

He was pulled from his thoughts once again when Gilan nudged him lightly, looking amused again.

"You trying to strain yourself with all the hard thinking, Will?" he joked. Will gave a short laugh.

"I think I can handle the dangerous thinking. I've been in worse situations, you know." His tone turned serious again.

Gilan sighed and leaned forward on the railing, looking down at the waves lapping against the ship's edge. He mulled over Will's thought process, trying to guess how deeply he was thinking about all this. He took a breath and glanced up again, letting the soft breeze play around his hair. "I remember this one time, in my first year as an apprentice," he started carefully, catching the younger Ranger's attention. "Halt was called off on a mission and he took me along so I could learn."

"What was the mission?" Will's voice was subconsciously as quiet as Gilan's, careful not to break the mood.

Gilan smiled wryly. "The usual - bandits. Only these ones seemed to have joined forces with another group and were causing more chaos than usual. Anyway Halt set off to track after them, find out where their rendezvous was. He told me to scout around where we'd come from and make sure none of them were in our vicinity. So I did." Gilan paused with a brief laugh and a shake of his head at the memory. "I don't know what I did wrong. I must've been too careless or cocky, 'cause next thing I know, I was being tackled against a tree from behind and surrounded by at least seven of them."

"What did you do?" asked Will, eyes wide.

Gil grinned at him. "Well, I distinctly remember making some sort of joke about the guy's rancid smell, which wasn't all that smart now that I think of it. I guess it was an automatic response from my panicking mind. The guy didn't seem to like that much, judging by how hard he shoved me to the ground."

"Didn't you have your sword?"

"Um... No, actually. I'd left it back with Blaze when I was scouting around. That was definitely not a smart move. Halt nearly killed me over it later on." Gil raked a hand through his hair ruefully, clearly remembering the older Ranger's disbelief and brief anger at his carelessness. Then he realized that he'd left Will hanging and hurried to continue his story. "Anyway. Well, my point was; at that moment, what with being surrounded by these buff guys and held down by another one - with a knife at my throat - and knowing I couldn't really do much to save myself - well, I think I can safely say I was damn terrified. I definitely hadn't learnt what to do in a situation like that. I really though that it was the end, listening to those good-for-nothing bandits discussing what to do with me - or with my body, more like."

Will was hanging off every word, brown eyes widened extensively. He could picture it in his mind's eye - a fifteen or fourteen-year-old Gilan being held, helpless, against the ground by a huge, hairy, dangerous-looking man with a blood-covered glinting knife at the Ranger's neck. He could just imagine what his friend must have felt like at that moment, and wondered how he'd gotten out of it.

Gil caught the ponderous look in Will's eyes and interpreted it correctly. "I would have been well and truly done for if it wasn't for Blaze. That horse is a life saver. Never lose faith in Ranger horses, Will. They're with us through thick and thin, and they sure know when to turn up at the right time. Blaze came barging in and knocked down the man holding me before they could blink. Then she charged down another one and I had time to get up and punch the nearest bandit in the face. But then another guy managed to get a right hook right at me and I was pretty dazed after that."

"What happened then? Did Blaze-?"

"Nah, that would be around the time when Halt came back, obviously wondering what the hell I was trying out this time to make so much noise. I think then he noticed the bandits and incapacitated them pretty quickly. I just remember Halt kneeling next to me and grumbling about careless apprentices getting themselves killed without a thought." He paused to think over that. "You know, I'm pretty sure that's his way of saying 'Wow Gilan, I'm so impressed by the way you handled that and I'm really glad you're alright and not dead 'cause the world would be a much less fun place without you'. 'Cause, let's face it - it would be. Right?" Gilan turned to shoot Will a dazzling grin.

Will laughed, shaking his head slightly. "Right. If you say so, Gil."

"Keep in mind that all Rangers get into risky situations, Will. It's just our cunning and skill – along with a heck of a lot of sheer luck – that almost always gets us out of it," Gilan added, smiling at the apprentice and mussing up his already-unmanageable hair. "Don't fret about it, kid. It happens to the best of us, you're not the only one. I, too, happen to be an awesome Ranger, so don't think you're too unique in that sense. Us awesome rangers tend to land ourselves in dire situations and think it's the end. Usually, it isn't; so keep that in mind, yeah?"

There was a bit of a pause where Will raised an eyebrow at Gilan, then let out a chuckle. "I'll definitely remember that." Gilan really knew how to cheer you up, he thought happily, and decided to add, "And Gil - thanks."

"Just doing my job, Will," said Gil, smiling at him warmly and slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Just doing my job."

And he did it pretty well, if he did say so himself, the Ranger thought brightly, noticing Will's lightened mood. He knew the subject wasn't completely off his mind, but at least it wasn't bugging him like it seemed to have been. And that was all he was aiming for – along with getting a laugh out of the apprentice.

"Now let's go see how Halt's faring with all these drastic ship-tossing waves," said Gil with a straight face, motioning at the very un-drastic waves as he pulled an amused Will along.

-x-

_A/N: Yay! Another Gilan-featuring chapter/one-shot! _

_BIG thanks to _Dodo.123 _for reading this over for me/beta-ing and suggesting what to add at the end for a better ending. (Yeah, the whole 'Rangers get into risky situations' speech was from her. Or, well, it's based off what she suggested.) No, I didn't bother putting it into my own words (for the most part). Yes, I am lazy. So, yeah, kudos, Dodo! :D_

_Thoughts on this? I really don't know where Halt came from until I was halfway through, then I realised that if I was putting this up with these other one-shots, he had to be in here somewhere and he had to be un-amused about something. So that problem solved itself on its own…_

_Umm what else was I gunna say… hehe, juggling with knives… only Gilan… :P _

_OH right: the first chapter is fixed up now! :D The Greybeard Halt one. It's better now._

_ANYWAY people R-E-V-I-E-W. Okay? Good. I love hearing your thoughts. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside._

…_That was a lie. No, they don't really (that would be poof-y. And overly mushy and fluffy. And other –y's.) But reviews do make me happy! Coz they're awesome. Not as awesome as the awesome Rangers, but close enough… _

_~izzy :]_

_(BTW, sorry if you got more than one alert for this, I took it down the first two times 'coz I forgot about some stuff... hehe)_


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